Monday, September 14, 2009

Internal Shopping Monologue

When I saw this sweater hanging tragically from a Goodwill rack, the following thoughts flashed through my mind, in the following order:

1. Ha! What a silly sweater.
2. What the hell is USA University?
3. I bet this is from Korea. My friends who taught in Korea said a lot of the clothes there were printed with random English words like, "Egregious" or "Pancake" or "Egregious Pancake."
4. Oh look, the tag says it's from Korea.
5. Do I need to buy this to honor my friends who went to Korea?
6. NO IT IS AWFUL.
7. But that blue is my favorite color, and it says USA University, and as far as I know that's a totally random phone number.
8. I think this might be the coolest sweater I've ever seen.
9. OK, say I do get it--am I prepared to have strangers squint at my boobs, then tilt their heads and say, "Where is USA university? Did you go there?"
10. Duh, I'm totally prepared for that. I will always say, "It's south of Canada University and north of Mexico University. In fact I did go there. Please see my lower abdomen for the phone number."
11. Oh my gosh that would be hilarious.
12. Plus I could pair it with my neon yellow jeans.
13. This is, like, a must buy.
14. All this rationalizing is making me hungry. I could go for a stack of egregious pancakes.

Outfit photos (probably) to come!