Monday, November 9, 2009

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Well, well, well, it's finally time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, the recurring feature in which readers send in examples of the ever-worsening "wearing a shirt as a dress" trend (if you're a Daddy Likey newbie--welcome!--and click here for a more thorough explanation).

Let's kick things off with Taylor Momsen's prime example:

Sally says: I see London, I see France ... I see Taylor's CHOCHA. And really wish I didn't.

Darci wants to know when Bloomingdales began catering to the twenty-something hipster prostitute crowd:

She also observes: You know you're ready to nightwalk when your necklace length matches your dress length. Hideous matching metallic undies sold separately.

Courtney found this Forever 21 skirt that doesn't allow for much movement:

Like, at all. Or else the chocha will make its debut.

Can you guess what company this ad is for?

Kasheia thinks this pose should be titled "Don't Offer Your Chocha." I agree.

Jen found this "chocha dust ruffle:"

Chocha dust ruffle, seriously. You guys crack me up.

I wouldn't want to run into her in a dark alley:

Lizzie says: Perhaps the most disturbing feature is the drawn-on breasts, which make it look like the poor model is dressed only in a scarf around her butt and some scraps of aluminum foil. Not a good look.

Kim titled her email "A well-placed hand:"

She adds: If it wasn't for the strategically placed hand we'd be staring at more than a pretty girl in chains.

Speaking of well-placed limbs, Stephanie sent me this photo:

That's a risky shot, right there.

Liz hits the nail on the head:

She says: This is Monica Cruz, the younger and mildly famous sister of Penelope Cruz. She is apparently posing at a Tampax sponsored event, while wearing a dress that if it were 3 inches shorter would allow us all to know if she uses their product.

So, Mary sent in this picture, which is a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, but the hemline of her shirt is a bit more distracting:

Superwoman, huh? Not sure how easy it is to fight bad guys when your boobs keep falling out the bottom of your top.

The awesome Rebecca submits photographic evidence that Kenneth Cole mannequins need to learn to close up shop:

Come on, all of New York City doesn't need to see that. Save it for your mannequin life partner.

Here's a great one from Christine:

She says: Marion Cotillard can probably do no sartorial wrong, but she looks like she's really regretting this get-up.

Tiffany sent in the next two, along with the spot-on commentary:

Yeeeeah. She might be all pretty and Brazilian or whatever but if she ever has to pick up that kid, I don't even want to know what's going to happen.

I don't even know what to say. She's totally creating her own chocha experience there. Maybe she's jealous her shirt/dress/whatever isn't as short as Camila Alves. [Editor's note: How great is the phrase "chocha experience"? It sounds like a virtual reality ride at Disneyland.]

Reader Liz found these chocha-spotlighting bloomers that are, ummm, sort of terrifying:

I feel like I saw these on that Dateline special about purity parties.

And finally, Josi sent me a hilarious Tour de Chocha, if you will:

She says: When I spotted this spread in the UO early fall catalog I instantly thought of your awesome DSYC feature. My favourite part is how the model's expression progressively changes throughout the spread:

Exibit A: 2nd picture to left of the top row
"WTF? You expect me to wear this as a dress?"

Exibit B: Next picture over to the right
"Well, maybe I can make it work if I pull it down a bit..."

Exibit C: 2nd picture to the right of the top row
"I guess I should should cross my legs and turn my head in shame."

Exibit D: 1st picture to the right of the top row
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I murdered the stylist..."

Exibit E: 3rd picture to the right of the bottom row
"Not only am I pants-less, but this t-shirt is sheer? Awkwaaaaard."

Exibit F: 1st picture to the right of the bottom row
The model has clearly lost her soul.

If you come across a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, feel free to send it my way! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com