Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Top 5 Style Lessons I Learned at a Muse Concert

Last Friday I drove up to Seattle to see Muse in concert. And holy god, what a concert it was. I would call it a life-changer. My friend Kyle would call it a "MUSEGASM!!!" Point is, it was good. Really good. Like, I tried to listen to Muse at home the day after the concert and all I could do was fall to the floor and weep. That good.

Since this is a fashion blog, after all, let's discuss the top 5 style lessons and insights I took away from the experience:

1. Bedazzled blazers are hot.

The lead singer, Matthew Bellamy, sang the first few songs wearing a black blazer with silver studs across the shoulders. And he looked hot. And I mean, yeah, with that voice, Matthew Bellamy could have worn one of Marilla's house dresses from Anne of Green Gables and I still would have wanted to hump his leg, but let me tell you: this blazer was quintessentially rock and roll. A perfect choice.

Hey Matthew, I like your house dress. Wanna date me?

2. Ed Hardy trucker hats are not.

The guy sitting next to us was wearing an Ed Hardy trucker hat and a pinstriped vest, and as much as I didn't want to judge a book by its cover, he ended up being exactly the kind of douchebag one would expect to be wearing an Ed Hardy trucker hat and a pinstriped vest.

After every single song, Mr. Douche would scream "Plaaaaaaaaayyyy iiiiiiiiittt!" directly into my boyfriend's ear. We found out at the end of the concert that he was referring to the song "Knights of Cydonia," because when Muse finally did plaaaaaaaayyy iiiiiiiiitttt, Mr. Douche sighed dramatically and said "About time." While I completely agreed with his sentiments (Knights of Cydonia is, like, the best song in history), I wanted to take him aside and give him a little workshop on communication skills. It would go like this:

Me: You're very demanding that Muse "Plaaaaaaaaayyyy iiiiiiiiittt!"

Doucher: Well, they should. I want to hear it!

Me: But how are they supposed to know what "it" is?

Doucher: Isn't it obvious?

Me: Not really, no. Especially when you're yelling it from the 200 section of a large stadium.

Doucher: Well what am I supposed to say?

Me: Yelling, "Knights of Cydooooooonnniiiiiaaaaaa!" is really satisfying. I do it all the time. And it's much more specific. Why don't you try that instead?

Doucher: Well, OK. Fine.

Me: And also please stop wearing that hat. You look like a douchebag.

3. I need more lasers in my life.

Throughout the show, giant, swirling, green laser beams would erupt from the stage and rotate around the arena, making the audience feel as if we were trapped inside a giant kaleidoscope with an awesome soundtrack. The day after the concert I turned off the lights at my house and put some Muse on my stereo and cried, but it just wasn't the same. What was missing? LASERS. I need to get a laser pointer necklace and a laser-themed t-shirt and a laser photo backdrop in my garage, stat!

4. Wearing this shirt would be like wearing the stage:

The set design for the show was a dark cityscape, with three big buildings rising up out of the stage. This shirt is from Topshop, which is British, like Muse. I need this shirt.

5. WWBV is the new WWJD.

One of Muse's best known songs is called "Uprising," and part of the chorus is "We will be victorious!" What a great personal motto, right? Me and my friend Kyle, copyright-holder of the term "Musegasm" (k) and proud owner of a Muse tattoo, recently decided to shorten it to WWBV and use it in place of that old favorite, WWJD, or "What Would Jesus Do?"

I find it very empowering and now I really want to a WWBV bracelet.

Plus, Jesus would totally listen to Muse.