I Heart Halloween!

I'm finishing up my Nancy Wilson (above right) costume, getting ready to head out to meet my friend Katelyn (aka Ann Wilson, left), who will attempt to crimp our hair and then off into the night we'll go. I've gotta warm up my vocal chords, too, because god knows how many times we'll have to sing "Barracuda" to answer the question, "What is 'Heart'?"

Have a safe and happy Halloween, everyone! What are/were you going as?

UPDATE: Here's our best Heart impression:


Also here's me with my new friend, Drunk Guy in a Poncho:

Tango & James and Milkshakes & Free Willy

My absolutely favorite thing about blogging is that it has introduced me to a group of people (including you!) who are so smart and talented and awesome that if I were to hit the lottery tomorrow my first order of business would be to fly them all to Portland and take them out for Burgerville pumpkin milkshakes. Then we would braid each other's hair and watch Free Willy, and all my smart, talented, awesome new friends would be like, "Ummm...why did we come here, again?"

So anyway, one of these awesome blogging friends is the lovely Lisa from Ninaribena Makes... I've been slightly obsessed with her since she perfectly recreated an iconic Carrie Bradshaw shirt, and now I'm lucky enough to have her fabulous Etsy shop, Tango & James, as a Daddy Likey sponsor.

I just adore her selection of funky handmade accessories and housewares:

I'd wear these to our upcoming pumpkin milkshake party. Delicious.

p.s. I wanted to apologize ahead of time if posting is a bit light around here for the next week or so: Besides Halloween and a friend's birthday festivities, I'm prepping for my book launch party next Thursday, which you should totally come to if you can! Feel free to email me for more info!

Tuesday Top 5: Best Costume Ideas Ever

My friend Meg is crafty and clever and creative and she is being a carwash for Halloween. How could I not invite her to write up a guest post?

Top 5 Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas Guaranteed to Snag You a "Most Creative Costume" Award
(by Meg)

1. Smart Deer

Imagine you are a smart deer and you have a gift certificate to Home Depot. What would you buy? Probably an ORANGE SAFETY VEST.

To protect yourself during hunting season, make yourself a set of ears by cutting out two paper deer ears and taping them to a headband. If you want to be a man-deer, I saw about 300 sets of headband antlers hanging in the Dollar Store’s Christmas section last weekend. There was a tuft of white tinsel glued around the antlers, which is a huuuuge bonus because you can peel it off and use it as part of your tail. Otherwise, cut out a paper tail, and if you feel ambitious, two hooves you can tape to black shoes. Wear any brown leggings or pants and a shirt, and then put on your safety vest.

2. Electric Eel

I went on a caving trip with a tour group, and when we stopped for lunch, the tour guide introduced us to his favorite eel. The eel lived under a rock in the river next to our picnicking site, so I fed him a piece of ham. He hissed at me, and then ate the whole thing in 1 bite. This is when I learned eels were sassy and fun. To turn yourself into a sassy, fun eel for Halloween, you’ll need shiny black clothes and a blue glow-necklace. If you already own shiny black leggings or anything that is capable of producing an electric shock, you are not allowed to choose any of the other 4 costume ideas, because you are destined to be an electric eel.

After you’re in your shiniest, blackest, sleekest outfit, activate and then unsnap a blue glow necklace. Use clear packing tape to secure it down the length of your back. If you can’t find a necklace, use a line of blue glow sticks. This costume is best for parties in dark, carpeted rooms, where you'll glow best and you can rub your feet on the floor to shock people with static electricity. A snack of ham is encouraged, but not required.

3. Optical Illusion

Wear every single one of your black-and-white checked and striped pieces of clothing in confusing layers. Swaying back and forth and vaguely hooo-ing at people is a guaranteed optical treat.

4. Tanning Bed

Extend your arms straight ahead and watch how many people jump in for a tan! You'll need purple glow sticks, an instant therma-pack or 2, and a bottle of dark brown liquid foundation. Wear a neutral color, and then use clear packing tape to line your arms, chest, and stomach with as many purple glow sticks to achieve the true density of UV lighting in a tanning bed. If you're going to be outside, slip a thermal pack under your shirt for a warmer, more realistic tanning experience. After people are done, offer to spread a little color on their skin.

5. ½ Baby Boa Constrictor, ½ Blood Pressure Cuff

Baby boa constrictors and blood pressure cuffs squeeze people's arms with the exact same intensity and speed. Illustrating this fact with a Venn Diagram is nice, but turning it into your costume is a huge statement. Recommended for people who are comfortable squeezing other people's biceps throughout the night.

Find 1 long green sock, 1 white mitten, some googly eyes, a turkey baster and a nice sturdy piece of string or tubing. Make yourself a little bracelet with the string, and leave 5-6 inches hanging off the end. Cut the bulb of the turkey baster off of its basting stick, and attach it to the end of the string like it's a beautiful charm. Slide your white mitten on over your hand and wrist and it's a blood pressure cuff! Put the googly eyes on the non-palm side of your green sock, and put this on the other hand. Now ask people to close their eyes and guess what is squeezing their arm-- a baby boa or a blood pressure monitor? Tally the results!

p.s. Also check out last year's Halloween Costume Chronicles contest for some hilarious Halloween stories!

Jeans Shopping 101 + Free Jeans, Anyone?

To continue the proud Daddy Likey tradition of book excerpts and corresponding giveaways, I present to you a small section of Chapter 1: The Definitive Guide to Shopping for Jeans While Retaining At Least One-Third of Your Self-Esteem (and at least one-half of your paycheck), followed by a chance to win some gorgeous denim for yourself:

Jeans Shopping 101

• Plan ahead. For example, don't schedule your shopping trip right after your dinner at the pasta buffet. Leave plenty of time to peruse the store. Pack a flask and rescue flares in case things get really bad.

• Know exactly what kind of jeans you're shopping for and dress accordingly. If you're looking for relaxed everyday jeans, wear casual shoes, shirt, and undergarments. If you're searching for some trendier denim to wear with heels at night, then wear your stilettos and a clingy top to the store. Want a pair of skinny jeans to tuck into your boots? Wear your boots into the dressing room and tuck those suckers in.

• Keep a ballpark price in mind. And no, $20 - $200 is not a ballpark. Is this going to be a sale rack kind of day, or is this going to be the day you spend some (or all) of your savings on a pair of designer jeans?

• If you usually have a hard time finding jeans, steer clear of smaller stores and boutiques, and head straight for large stores withlargerselections. There's nothing worse than trying on every single pair of jeans in a store only to go home empty-handed, convinced you're some kind of mutant who can't wear normal clothes, when in fact, the store only offered three different styles.

• If you have a little junk in the trunk or have been blessed with a Rubenesque figure, you should check out stores that specialize in larger sizes—they usually have more options, and the staff has a better knowledge of flattering cuts and colors.

• Conversely, if you have a smaller frame, or are just looking for a bargain, don't be afraid to take a peek at the juniors’ section, especially for trendier styles. Prices usually stay below $50, but beware the super-low-rise fashions, which only tend to look good on svelte 13-year-olds.

• As much as I adore thrift and vintage stores, they are not dependable sources for jeans. If you stumble across a fabulous pair of worn-in Levi's while browsing at the thrift store, good for you. But usually, the selection is too limited and unpredictable to count on finding a good fit.

• No matter what store you go to, try on five hundred pairs of jeans . . . and then try on five more. Do you see why you should carve out some time for this?

• If you hyperventilate at the thought of endless shelves of denim, familiarize yourself with the Denim Field Guide and Maslow's Hierarchy of Jeans (both featured in the book!) to help you make sense of it all. You could breathe into a paper bag too, if that helps.

And to help you with that "retaining one-half of your paycheck" thing, I'm so excited to offer you a free pair of fabulous jeans from a new premium denim company based out of NYC called Antique Rivet!

The winner will receive a pair of these embellished straight leg jeans in size 0-13 (I'm so sorry to my beautiful readers who fall outside that range, I swear I'll make it up to you!) which normally retail for $85. Recessionista, baby! (Oh my god, I'm so upset I just wrote that. I apologize.)

For a chance to win, please leave a comment describing your best jeans shopping strategy, or how you found your favorite pair of jeans. Thanks so much for entering, and I'll choose a winner at random a week from today (Monday, November 2nd!). As always, blogging or tweeting about this giveaway will earn you an extra entry! Best of luck!

Updated to add: International readers are welcome to enter! We can have your prize shipped to me and then I'll ship it out to you, wherever you may be!

Aaaaannnnnnd our lucky winner is BAM! Thank you all so much for entering and for all the amazing tips and tricks! I learned so much from reading your comments! And not to worry--another great giveaway is coming up soon! :)

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

Vintage Mug, $3

I recently acquired a part time job that requires me to get up at 5AM a couple days a week. This has been a tough transition, and to be honest there has been more than one instance where I literally forgot to put my pants on until I opened my front door and felt a draft. You know what I think would help? Using a couple of my precious pre-work minutes to sip peppermint chai from an adorable little vintage mug like this one. Pants optional.

p.s. All you other involuntary early risers should check out this great post by my girl Sarah about becoming a morning person (or at least faking it [or at least remembering your pants]).

A Limerick About This Shirt

I don't like my belly, you know

It's big and continues to grow
But maybe this year
I'll tackle my fear
And wrap it all up with a bow.

Bows of Sequins Top, $42.99, here.

p.s. Please check out my guest post over at the ModLife blog, with outfit suggestions for important life events, like interviewing for a job you're not qualified for, or meeting your online boyfriend for the first time in a neutral, public place! Good stuff.

Sourdough: Stylish and Delicious

I've been a fan of the witty fashion blog Poetic & Chic for years, so I was super excited when the lovely writer, Annie, started an Etsy shop full of fabulous crafts and gifts, and even more excited when she named it Sourdough, because that is my favorite genre of bread, and then most excited when she recently became a Daddy Likey sponsor.

Besides her glamorous vintage fabric eyemasks, which I've mentioned before, Annie has branched out into beautiful handmade jackets:

I'm definitely saving up for one, because the vintage fabrics are one-of-a-kind and the style is so classic. (Also, notice the gorgeous model? It's fellow fashion blogger Cuffington!)

The shop also has some sweet wedding gift options, like these personalized ampersand dishtowels (if you don't have any weddings coming up, you could always request a towel that says "A&E" if you're a huge fan of Intervention, or "D&G" if you love high fashion, or "T&A" if you love Baywatch):

So pretty, right?

Please keep Sourdough in mind as you do your holiday shopping this year, and thank you so much for supporting small businesses!

A Conversation About Jeggings (featuring the Five Men!)

You guys have heard of jeggings, right? It's the technical term for leggings that look like jeans, which are quickly gaining in popularity. Here's an example:

Ooooh are they jeans or are they leggings? They're jeggings!

A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with my friend Milena, and she said, "I just got these new pants that are, like, a jeans-legging hybrid, and I'm in LOVE with them!"

"Oh, you mean jeggings?" I asked, and then we both went, "Eeeeeewww!" because jeggings is the grossest word ever.

But despite our initial exclamation of disgust, for the rest of the day it was "jeggings" this and "jeggings" that--we must have said "jeggings" 400 times between noon and 6PM--because this awful little word is strangely fun to say. Seriously, say it out loud: jeggings. It's a phonetic delight.

Now, cut to last night: my whole family is sitting on the floor of a Moroccan restaurant for my brother's birthday dinner. I randomly asked if anyone else has heard of jeggings, and this live, spontaneous edition of Five Men's Fashion First Impressions happened (luckily my mom threw me a pen in time for me to record it):

Brother, age 14: What's a jegging?

Brother, age 20: No, no, we can figure this out!

Brother, age 22: Yeah, it should be simple.

Mom: I met someone once who was named after her dad who was named Stan and her mom who was named Anette, and her name was Stanette. Is it like that?

Me: Kind of.

Brother, age 14: OK, let's break this down. It's obviously a verb, meaning "to jeg." But what is "jeg?"

Brother, age 20: Grouse hunting.

Brother, age 22: Don't be a dumbass. It's obviously scallop farming.

Boyfriend: Yeah, scallops! That sounds right.

Brother, age 20: A "jegging" is the special boot German people wear to go grouse hunting.

Brother, age 22: No, "jeggings" are soft-soled scallop-farming shoes.

Me: What in the hell are you guys talking about?

Brother, age 14: Yo, this is jeggings 101!

Boyfriend: How do you hunt scallops?

Dad: Scallops are actually good little swimmers.

Brother, age 22: That's it. Jeggings are scallop-hunting shoes.

Boyfriend: I second that.

Brother, age 14: Me too.

Brother, age 20: They're grouse-hunting boots.

Dad: I think it has something to do with bird eggs. The Jaeger is a predatory seabird.

And there you have it.

Tuesday Top 5!

Close friends of mine know that I talk about becoming a train conductor literally everyday.

When I get overwhelmed with life I storm around the house yelling, "That's it! I'm going to work on the railroad," and when I'm feeling dreamy I'll stare out the window and sigh, "I think I'd look good in one of those cute little caps." I've been obsessed with the profession--mostly the conductor hat, if I'm being honest--for as long as I can remember.

A couple months ago my mom and I took the train up to Seattle. Somewhere outside of Tacoma I cornered an Amtrak employee selling mixed nuts in the shaky dining car and begged her to tell me about her glamorous life on the rails. "Isn't it wonderful?" I asked, "getting to see the country, meeting new people everyday, shoveling coal, wearing one of those adorable conductor caps?"

"Umm...we don't shovel coal," she said, "and we don't wear conductor caps, but yeah, it's a pretty good job."

"Wait. What? You don't get to wear the hat?"

"You don't get to wear the hat until you've worked your way up to engineer," she said.

"Really?" I said, completely dejected. "So this is going to be a major time commitment."

"Have you ever thought of just buying a hat?"

Of course I'd thought of that. Well, kind of.

Top 5 Professions I Have Considered Pursuing Solely Because of the Hat

1. TRAIN CONDUCTOR

This is the best conductor hat I found, and it costs $80, which is totally out of my conductor hat price range. I'm going to work on the railroad!

2. TRAPPER

I wear giant furry trapper hats so often that I might as well parlay it into a job, even though I would cry every time I had to trap something and then apologize and let it go. Yep, sounds like the perfect career choice.

3. NEWSPAPER BOY FROM THE 1930s

Don't laugh! My time machine is almost complete--soon I'll escape this awful economy and fulfill my dream of selling papers in the beautiful, thriving utopia of Chicago, 1933.

4. CHEF

When I met my boyfriend Nick, he had one of these with his name embroidered on the front. I can't say exactly how much that affected my decision to date him, but estimates hover at around 90%.

5. MOBSTER

I think a fedora is one of the most handsome hat options available to modern man, but whenever I wear one I feel like a hipster poser. Perhaps a career of assassinations and racketeering would add that necessary dose of credibility?

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

Charles Darwin Hair Pins, $15

Some of the awful puns and jokes I considered for this post:

"Now that's what I call intelligent design!"

"For keeping your bangs under control, these pins are a natural selection."

"I'd buy these in a finch!" (Like "in a pinch," but "finch" instead, because Darwin studied finches! Eh? Eh?)

"Who knew that H.M.S. Beagle stood for Hair Most Stylish, ummm....Beagle?"

"I've been looking for a way to evolve my look."

"These pins would do wonders for what I like to call The Origin of the Greasies, aka not washing my hair for five days."

But mostly I just can't get over how creepy/cute it would be to have Darwin's little face peeking out from a French chignon. I need to learn how to do a French chignon.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

The Don't Show-cha Your Chocha submissions have been rollin' in, and if it didn't sound supremely creepy, I would say something like, "I'm now seeing at least 5 chochas every day! It's marvelous!" OK, who am I kidding? Creepy is my middle name. Bring on the chocha!

Let's start things off with an oldie but a goodie sent in by reader Marcela:

So, ummm, Kate Moss? Are you wearing a diaper? I'm only asking because if you are, diapers are going to become the next big thing, and I want to be ahead of the trend.

Lovely Leslie tracked found a Free People dress that seems to have an important section of fabric missing in front:

'She says: In this shot it's like the photographer reassured her that nothing was showing, but she does not believe him because the dress is so. freaking. short.

An anonymous reader submitted this tribute to calculated hand placement:

I think those hands deserve a hand! Like, seriously, a round of applause, because without them we'd be seeing her crotch.

Here's perennial DSYC favorite Lindsay Lohan:

Reader Katie points out: If it weren't for the happy accident of the drooping bag strap, there'd be some serious chocha goin' on. I'd probably cover my face, too.

Speaking of perennial DSYC favorites, where's American Apparel? Oh. Here it is:

Says Meghan: Although this isn't exactly a chocha shot, I thought it would fit in quite nicely with all your other chocha-tacular images. The worst part? If you read the description, these are apparently running shorts. I'm sorry but if it looks like underwear, fits like underwear, and wearing it in public illicts the same response as if you were wearing underwear....it's probably underwear! [Editor's note: that's my new motto!]

Reader Hanna came across a photo of another Hannah, the latter of which may have some trouble sitting down:

I also really liked Hanna's accompanying email, which said: As an avid reader of your blog, I am always on the hunt for some chocha fabulous enough to get a mention on your blog. Chocha hunting=awkward hobby? Nawww.

Reader Brittney sent along this photo, which as we know from the Chocha Glossary, is referred to as the joe-cha:

Should we tell him his pants are down? Do you think he knows?

And finally, check out this powerful leg clench:

Says Erin: It actually says that it's a TOP. Then why, for the love of god and all that is holy, wear it as a dress?!

Actually, WendyB has the answer to that question.

Find a chocha? Send it to me (creepy is my middle name, remember?)! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to apologize for my absence the past couple days. I was a on a mini road trip with my brothers and boyfriend and between the nacho binges and Lord of the Rings references there was little time to blog. Thanks for your patience (and an extra thanks for your amazing comments on the giveaway post below), and I'll get this week's installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha up for you later tonight!

Love,
Winona

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