Today's subject comes from the blog of the inimitable Sara Zucker, esquire:

Here's what the men had to say:
Brother, age 14: (Lifts eyebrow, backs away from computer) Is it like, umm, a hippie sponge? It's made of hemp, isn't it?
Me: What do you actually think it is?
Brother, age 14: Ummm...a carpet?
Brother, age 21: It looks like something they found on the floor in a leather tannery.
Boyfriend: What is it?
Me: A scarf.
Boyfriend: Are you sure it's not a sea sponge?
Brother, age 19: Burlap wasp nest...a Mesopotamian relic.
Father: (Laughs) Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, what is it?
Me: It's a scarf.
Father: What's it made of?
Me: Cotton jersey.
Father: One time I was helping Washington County Sheriff's Office search for a body, and we took apart a woodpile at a suspect's house, and we found something that looked almost exactly like that.
Me: Was it a body?
Father: No, but it smelled awful and looked like bug-eaten human flesh.
Me: Wow.